Aside

you know what

fuck this

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Aside

alone i feel 

im always alone

and when im surrounded with people i feel alone 

sometimes even more alone then when i am alone

starting to get these suicidal thoughts

i feel empty

all the running

all the missing

im tired of everything  

i want to run away forever

hide in a hole

hoping no one will know 

where im hiding cause i just want to go

i want to have friends that never leave me alone

i want to jump of a plane 

feel free

but were we born free to ever be

so many emotions just building inside me

i dont understand 

i dont understand many things

still so young 

not even close to wise

still so much to experience in life 

still so much to come

so much to cry over 

so much to lose 

i want to breath 

because honestly i cant right now

ugh from everything 

i just want throw everthing away and run

never come back

most of my friends betrayed me

they left me broken shattered with no one to turn to 

i have nothing 

i want nothing 

why cant i have the guts to leave 

because i dont want you to ask me why 

i dont know how to explain it 

i cant put my emotions into word 

i cant express them 

its just too hard

well it is for me 

“life man”

thats all i can say

 

 

Aside

i wonder what life has in store for me

is it death

is it love

is it sadness

is it happiness

what is it that life has in store for me

i think im happier not knowing

since life is unpredictable

if i knew i probably would kill myself

ill get through it

all of it

i wont let it break me

i wont let it shatter me

i deserve happiness

 

Aside

all these feelings trapped inside me i don’t know what to to do

what to say

should i let them go

should i hold on to them tight

the only thing running through my mind are the words “i dont know”

but till when till when will i not know

its hard to breath 

im stuck, save me!

is this love i feel

or is it just strong admiration 

whenever i see you i want to hug 

breath in youre warmth 

never have i felt this way about anyone i know

who are you?

a person i never met

yet i crave to change for 

are you going to break me

or are you going to save me 

why is it so hard to breath

so hard to think 

my mind is a mess 

should i let my feeling leave me alone 

or should i hold on tight

all night i repeat