“If you wanna r…

“If you wanna run, go ahead. But, where are you going?”

Saif one of my best friends asked me that and i thought about it if im going to run then where will i go. He said he’ll help me through this journey and he did and i’m very thank full for his existence friends like Saif don’t exist these days.


alone i feel 

im always alone

and when im surrounded with people i feel alone 

sometimes even more alone then when i am alone

starting to get these suicidal thoughts

i feel empty

all the running

all the missing

im tired of everything  

i want to run away forever

hide in a hole

hoping no one will know 

where im hiding cause i just want to go

i want to have friends that never leave me alone

i want to jump of a plane 

feel free

but were we born free to ever be

so many emotions just building inside me

i dont understand 

i dont understand many things

still so young 

not even close to wise

still so much to experience in life 

still so much to come

so much to cry over 

so much to lose 

i want to breath 

because honestly i cant right now

ugh from everything 

i just want throw everthing away and run

never come back

most of my friends betrayed me

they left me broken shattered with no one to turn to 

i have nothing 

i want nothing 

why cant i have the guts to leave 

because i dont want you to ask me why 

i dont know how to explain it 

i cant put my emotions into word 

i cant express them 

its just too hard

well it is for me 

“life man”

thats all i can say




i wonder what life has in store for me

is it death

is it love

is it sadness

is it happiness

what is it that life has in store for me

i think im happier not knowing

since life is unpredictable

if i knew i probably would kill myself

ill get through it

all of it

i wont let it break me

i wont let it shatter me

i deserve happiness




i rarely feel it

but i love seeing it

even if i dont feel it myself

thats the reason i love kids

always so happy

i wish i can stay a kid forever

so happy all the time

never takes life seriously

maturity is my enemy

stay away i want to stay me

i want to have fun and laugh over the stupidest things

i dont want to grow up


is he different


he’s so pretty

well he is in my eyes 

the way he talks is just amazing

if i ever saw him in real life 

id hug him and never let go 

yes hes that much

he makes my heart go like a tornado

i know what a wacko am i

he’s different 

i know it 

or should i think again